Yesterday was one of the easiest yet hardest decisions Ive had to make in a very long time. I dis enrolled one of my daycare babies. Levi has been with us since he was 8 weeks old and he is now 8 months, we have always had problems with his constant screaming episodes and it finally got too much. The problem is I really do love the boy and he was very attached to me. The problem was I couldn't put him down unless I wanted to here him scream for hours!! It started to affect the other kids as he was taking all my attention and not leaving me in the best mood in the evening. So you would think it would be an easy choice, only it wasn't. I have been thinking for weeks now, if I do this differently or try this, it would be help, but I tried everything. I finally thought to my self that I just wasn't the right person for this child, and although I could just struggle on, It wasn't fair to me, the other kids or Levi. He would do so much better in a group setting with more kids and more adults.
So after making the right choice I told his Mum and we agreed he would be better off at Zia, after an emotional goodbye I felt like everyone would end up happy. Only I had a really horrible pain jabbing me straight in the heart, it was strange and so uncomfortable. It went away later , but I cant help but think if it was the right choice, why does it hurt so much. Then I got to thinking about everything we have been through together (smiles, giggles, outings, hugs, crawling) and he has been a big part of my life for a long time now, so I allowed my heart to ache and then remembered it is for the best!!!
Kerry my heart goes out to you, we all know how much you loved Levi, I for one know that you made the right decision you did everything you could to try and settle levi, i think you are right that little boy needed to go to a place where there are lots of children and adults, he will be really happy thats not to say he was'nt happy with you, i think it take a very special person to acknowledge that a child would be more settled somewhere else and i'm pretty sure that levi's mum feels the same i hope you still keep get to see levi time to time. I'm very proud of you Kerry you did the right thing 100%. I Love you.
ReplyDeleteAww Kerry I am sorry. You know I understand what you are going through on a different level. To let go is nearly impossible but you made the right choice for you, for your family, and for your daycare. I totally get that you love him - totally get it. If you didn't love him you wouldn't have tried and you wouldn't care. I know how once the decision is made you can second guess yourself and think of all the positives. You made the right choice, as hard as it is. Good for you. :-) XOXOXO
ReplyDeleteYou did make the right decision & are happier for it. :) I see it every day. :)
ReplyDelete